a thrumming in the ears

The summer weather is rare enough to be special
the water was blue-grey in the bay and blue-green at the sand
damn cold water -- you'd have to be mad

i made plane noises and
charged at it like a lunatic shrieking
absorbed in the moment
in the feeling of icy fingers
against my thighs, belly
i could feel my muscles contract
skin trying to escape
breath and heart quickened

the water was clear
and my mind foggy
as I staggered out into the reeling world of air
my skin was on fire and my vision blurred

i wanted to wrap you in my icy limbs
you sensed this and moved away
I put my lips to your cheek instead
in the distance a seagull cried

An Australian in North-West Scotland (a letter)

A Wallace 23 June 2009
(written at Mellon Udrigle)

It's a long way from my pen to your door
We don't even see the same stars in the sky
but, sitting here atop these grassy dunes
makes me think of past times as though they were near
though there are many differences true.

The mountains in the distance, they are one:
Denuded slopes and knife-sharp passes cut
the cloud-swept sky like a slighted lover's knife
the lowest regions, the middles brown, the peaks steel-grey.
They stretch as far as eye can see or tongue can say.

Two, the sheep and rabbits graze upon the grass
this 'common land' is still novel to me
they roam as though this land is their own
a feeling that I'd call 'vacation free'
though they don't eat the thistles or the nettles.

the sun's tragectory is a gentle wave
like a spinning coin upon the ground
though travelling far around us every day
it seems to give but little warmth
and dawn and dusk both seem to last for hours.

The beer I drink is warm, the ocean cold,
though oft I hear about the warm gulf stream.
The summer evening breeze holds winter's chill
there'll be no night swims here, that I can tell -
we'll sit and watch, and eat and drink our fill.

My friend, though I've not seen you for some time
and we may not meet again for some time still
I've many precious memories of this kind
to hold, preserve and treasure then until
new dreams we weave once more from friendship's thread.

Our ancestors' legacy

Do you want a little bit
of Earth's bounty?
It's there, and it's there
for the taking.
Y'know, sometimes I feel so lucky:
our forefathers would scarce believe
this life we're living.

We had such a long childhood,
each year a novel situation.

We started with nothing,
the world was cold and cruel
for 1000 generations
we struggled and learned
and taught and died

We had such a long childhood,
We walked to all the ends of the Earth.

And people talk of paradise lost,
but this is paradise found.
But we have to remember
we're primitive creatures
with nuclear weapons.

Do you want a little bit of Earth's bounty,
it's there, and it's there for the taking.
But please exercise just a little restraint,
because we don't want it to be fading.


====================================
This is similar to Distant Star, but somewhat less optimistic. A recording is available

Distant star

You look at me
cold and impassively
There's no hint of friendship
or understanding
but it must be there!
I am just the latest
in my line, that you have watched
distant and contemplative.

Collectively, we have struggled,
under your unfathomable gaze,
to survive and build -
and we grow stronger.

Now, it finally seems that
things that were once unknowable are understood,
and thoughts that could not be conceived are spoken of.

Oh, distant star,
shrouded in your sovereign mantle,
do not be too lofty
do not be too condescending.
Because we, these miserable creatures,
you have observed through the ages.
We now turn our instruments thouward.

=====================================
This is about human progress. For millennia we have looked at the world around us and the skies and we are now beginning to understand...
A recording is available

The illusion of conciousness

I'm gonna paint it,
I've got a picture in my head
a beautiful landscape
with the sun rays from God's hand.
On the banks the swallows frolic,
around the rocks the bubbling brook flows -
the way it flows is so familiar, because I've seen it in my life... I've got a picture in my mind

I'm gonna carve it,
it's a face that I well know
this face I carry
but I can't see what you see so
when I create this sculpture
It won't look like my photo
i'll make my face the way I know it, because I've seen it in my life... I've got a model in my mind

I know my manner
and the way that folk see me
I'll analyse myself,
and my personality.
And so this endless recursion
ideas of self and expectation
I'll be the me I know you're used to
and I think I know your me, because I've played him in my life... I'm but a model of my mind.

===============================
In this song, I'm trying to understand what it means to be conscious, and where it comes from.
A recording of this is available

A lovely moment

We sit beside an ambling stream
no two thoughts interlinking
The ceiling of the clouds is low
and the air is cool.

I look out over the bay
to the glorious mountains not far away
adorned with sheep too small to see
and garlanded with birds and bees.
There's the quiet calling of the swallows
and the water over rock stirs
and if we wait and listen long
there's the occasional insect song.

The bare rock, caressed by green
and the hillsides embraced by trees
All this reminds me of
how well my life is today.

And even the prospect of heavy rain
won't crease this brow,
because I know that in the tent with me
will be you.

Oh you, whose body I embrace
and whose thoughts warm mine
when they grow cold.
Oh you, helped me close another chapter,
for every sunrise
is twice as bright for sharing.

And as we sit here in this place
I attain a wonderful peace.
For we are nothing unique or special
and that is what makes is so special.

===================================
A recording of this is available

My woman and me

I've been thinking lately
About my woman and me.
We're going well
the house is strong,
though we're a new family.
I feel like we're the centre
that we're unique and special,
the universe conspired
to make it all possible.

It's easy to forget
that the world doesn't care.
It's easy to forget
that we weren't always here.
There've been many who thought
they were divinely ordained -
the dusty bones and tattered scraps
are all that remain;
And despite my attempts at rationality
I can't escape the feeling that
some invisible deity
has a special place and a plan for me
I need to grow up!
Can't I see that there's no guarantee?

I've been thinking lately
about my woman and me.
The unremarkable outcome
that we're ignored by history.
It's not the drop of water
that makes the wave,
and it can't be recognition
that we try to attain.

==============================
A recording of this is available